"Advancing" YOUR Social Standing!: Creative alternatives to "I dropped out of university"

There’s something really awkward about saying you're dropping out of university- or as I like to call it "Re-evaluating my tertiary position whilst accelerating my personal growth". Aside from losing the respect from every single family member (except for my parents who are still relishing the fact I graduated high school) it puts you in a weird societal lull. 

I used to study politics so I know my way around a thesaurus and have subsequently realized that it all comes down to good marketing!

So how do you get around the awkwardness of "So what do you study?" Ah never fear my dear reader! Tonight I present you with.......

"Advancing" YOUR social standing: Creative alternatives to "I dropped out of university"

Scenario 1

Location: Workplace conversation  with co-worker or client

Solution: “Oh I used to attend (Their university)” – leave them to make their own assumptions

Scenario 2

Location: West End

Solution: “Yeah man I was studying (insert degree here) but I realised that it wasn’t the right path for me so I’m taking some time to really connect with myself and the universe”

Scenario 3

Location: Pretentious Relatives

Solution: Lie, just blatantly lie. This is the perfect opportunity to impersonate your mate with the GPA of 6.5 who has been giving you essay by essay descriptions of their degree’s for the last 5 years.

Scenario 4

Location: University of Queensland,

Solution:  See Scenario 3

Scenario 5

Location: Parents

Solution: Well I realised it wasn’t what I want to do in life and I’m just focusing on working and doing odd little certificates until then

Scenario 6

Location: Friends parents

Solution: Oh I don’t study I work and am deeply committed to my involvement in  (insert charity you think is pretty)

Scenario 7

Location: New Roommates

Solution: Oh I was studying but then work took over and I’m deferring (This argument is particularly well supported if you have a social life akin to a celebrity)

Scenario 8

Location: Internet Dating or one night stands

Solution: Profile’s don’t ask for occupations, use your hobbies as your job description ie Personal Shopper

Scenario 9

Location: Job interview for something you’re actually qualified for

Solution: Start by not listing your time at university on your resume. If you did do this however your words should be “Well I realised I was a more (Opposite of what your degree actually involved) kind of person and I really think your company will help me in advancing my skills in this industry”

Scenario 10

Location: Institution related drinking session

Solution: Pick a random area – preferably one too obscure for a drunk person to ask follow up questions on ie. Comparative Evolutionary Genetics

At the end of the day, there’s no shame in stepping back from the game and hanging out at Centrelink for a bit. If all else fails, 1. Just lie- I’m fairly certain most of the ALP thinks I’m studying at UQ thanks to my intimate knowledge of the campus and friends currently studying there, and 2. Appreciate the world of inside jokes your time at university opened up for you.

Xx Who am? That's a secret better written than the script of Gossip Girl xo xo C.

 University Summarised!