Friday, January 6, 2017

Blogilates 28 Day Reset: Day 4 & 5- Salsa Class and My First Blow Out

Nobody said this would be easy.....
What they also didn't say was that my first major blow out would come sooner than I thought.......

Day 4 for me was pretty good! I got my smoothie on in the morning, smashed out some errands and did my Blogilates videos before heading to my first Salsa class that night. 

Day 4's Lunch: If only all my meals could be this pretty and this delicious!

Oh my god! I had no idea that learning the 4 basic moves and practicing them over an hour could be such a cardio workout! Not only that but I was sweating my boobs off in the worlds least ventilated room with 50+ others. Was it worth it though? Definitely! I can't wait to go back next week.

My joy was short lived though as Friday (Day 5) I woke up and suffered a horrible episode of BPD for the entire day. Part of which involved consuming an entire pizza - Uh Oh! Somehow I still did my Beginners Calendar workout however and this morning got straight back on the horse with my diet. I remember whilst eating the pizza- it tasted amazing! However I didn't feel full and honestly feel just gross afterwards.

Even though today was Rest Day (Hello Paleo Banana Pancakes) and the day after my major blow out it felt like my stomach fat was a bit looser and my energy levels are still wayyyy up than before I started eating healthier.

Rest Day Paleo Pancakes: I finally mastered these- Time consuming and bit eggy but still good!
Plus an Almond Milk protein shake 

Also! How amazing is Brown Rice? Super filling and it smells like porridge when I'm cooking it (Yeah I know I'm weird for loving the smell of porridge). I love that it gets to be part of my meals and I'm super excited to attempt Cucumber and Avocado Sushi with it next week. 

Anyway that's all for now!

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Blogilates 28 Day Reset: Day 3


Today was not my best day! I went to bed last night feeling feverish and sore and bleach and woke up feeling not much better physically and pretty emotional. So I decided to load up with a "Comfort Food" breakfast of Gluten Free toast topped with Avocado, Tomato and Egg with a side of "Hot Chocolate" (Protein powder I found the back of the pantry and Unsweetened Almond milk). It tasted amazing and made me feel a lot better!

The offending meal......

Sadly my joy was short lived as the post on Facebook attracted some rather unwanted comments that made me feel quite depressed. I tried to rest as much as possible for the rest of the day- keeping in mind my very full on day tomorrow and the need to maintain my mental health.

Exercise wise I felt that the videos were almost a bit easy which I didn't mind so much as I was feeling it from the Bubble Butt Workout from yesterday. It amazes me how much my muscles can burn the day after from a few 5min videos! My first Salsa class is tomorrow and I'm ridiculously excited for it! Hopefully the inclusion of a few 1hr intensive activities a week will make a real difference.

As I sobbed to my housemate whilst preparing dinner; This Reset is really F****** Hard! And there is no way to sugar coat that (Pun Intended) I'm tired as my body detoxes, I'm cranky, I want to cry constantly, my body aches and a photo of cake makes me drool like you wouldn't believe. The unsolicited advice - although probably well meaning- hurt so much as it just felt like another stab by someone who didn't get how hard this journey really is. Although I'm putting on a brave face; This truly is the most vulnerable I've ever been.

Anyway hopefully tomorrow will be better! I will endure!

Dinner: Baby Spinach topped with a cup of mashed Sweet Potato and Stewed Lentils 

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Blogilates 28 Day Reset: Day 1 & 2

Day 1: The journey begins!

Hey Guys,

So I know it's been a while but I'm back on the blogosphere as I really want to document the super exciting new journey I've started on.

As some of my older followers may remember; About a year ago I discovered Blogilates and the brilliant world of Cassey Ho. In January and February of 2016 I set about attempting to complete the Beginners Workout Calendar as well as 2 x 30 Day Challenges. Although I succeeded in losing 8cm off my body and about 3kg over the month- I didn't stick with it and struggled to find a dietary balance.

Over the course of 2016 my life changed in a lot of big ways. My relationship of over 2 years ended, I moved interstate to Melbourne and I struggled to complete my Certificate III in Individual Support (Aged Care) whilst living out of hotels.

It was a hard year and as I battled with endless amounts of stress and depression; my diet and exercise regime fell into the ditch and then got eaten by a feral cat.

In November I finished my Certificate III and a few weeks later finally landed some stable accomodation. As  I celebrated the end of my course and got giddy on Eggnog and the greatest Black Forest dessert in existence I began to take notice of the toll the year had taken on my body.

Celebrating Graduation- There is so much love in this photo
And yet all I see is my larger than life body 

At 102 kg I am the heaviest I've ever been, struggle with half a flight of stairs, suffer acid reflux and nerve pain and cry if I go anywhere near a ladies clothing section in a store. For someone who used to jog 5km up and around hills for fun: I'm not proud of who I've become.

A few days before the new year began I was searching through my emails when I came across an email from Blogilates. It was a link to a PDF which gave instructions on how to the 28 Day Food Reset from the PIIT28 Program. Being poor, I'd never been able to justify the $80 Aus for the PIIT28 Exercise program- let alone the diet aspect. But here lay a unique, realistic and most importantly FREE opportunity to get my health back on track.

The Challenge 

Unlike most detox's or diets; The rules for the 28 Day Reset are pretty simple:

For 28 Days omit the following from your diet whilst working out 6 days a week with 1 Rest Day.

- No Gluten
- No Dairy
- No Added Sugar
- No Alcohol and
- No Processed Foods

Sounds really hard right? Not quite

For me the whole dairy and no alcohol thing wasn't really going to be an issue. I barely eat dairy due to my intolerance (Not that I hadn't enjoyed some serious cheese over the holidays) and alcohol often gives me reflux anyway. Taking out Gluten and Processed Foods would be interesting as I absolutely love my bread and beef mince for cooking. Added Sugar? Well it was about time I broke that addiction. As I'm struggling with my reflux a lot, I've also opted to give up coffee.

Before I started this challenge I wrote up a list of "Reset Safe" meals. The list contained 5 different breakfast options- such as Oats w/ Berries and Maple Syrup (my natural sweetener of choice) and 17 Dinner/Lunch options that were more than just "salad".

As for the workouts I'm giving The Beginner's Calendar another crack and next week I'll be introducing 2 x 1hr dance classes a week plus 1hr a week doing laps at the local pool. Really trying to find fun and enjoyable exercise options that don't break the bank ($10 a week total for 3hrs of exercise? Hell yes!).

It's Day 2 and so far I'm going ok. I'm really enjoying the food so far- Especially the GF Veggie "Burgers" I made tonight with Avocado Pesto (That stuff is addictive AF). Exercise wise? Despite not being able to properly do some of the workout moves I'm still getting serious day after muscle burn which is good.
Tonights culinary success! Note the dripping Avo Pesto

Today I went to my local bulk foods store and stocked up on ingredients for smoothies and picked up almost a kilo of Epsom salts to soak my sore muscles later this week.

Emotionally/ Energy wise I find myself feeling tired and getting a much better sleep at night. I've been feeling pretty cranky detoxing from the sugar, gluten and caffeine; However I'm hopeful that clears up soon. I'm trying to remind myself that I'm at the beginning of something new and remain positive about the process- it takes 21 days to break a new habit and it's always hard at the beginning of new journey's.

Anyway, That's all for now. I will keep you posted on my progress and if anyone has any questions about the #28DayReset feel free to send me a message.

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

The Little Things

Six weeks ago, as I wrote down my goals and plans for the new year, I was doubtful. Even though I hoped I would stick to my plans and actually lose weight, I was realistic and didn't think that it would happen at all.

January I was the definition of a good intended new years resolution. I ate well, and emotionally punished myself when I didn't. I pushed myself through Blogilates workouts that frankly I hated and got mad at myself if I didn't workout. I stressed over the thought of eating out with friends and the fear of temptations.

But then one night I snapped! And while my housemate had his back turned for 10 seconds I woofed down an entire box of Chicken Nuggets. But then it hit me: I had made working out and healthy eating a guilt laden responsibility. It was no longer fun!

So I've been changing things up a bit. I'm focused more on the positive. If I eat a handful of chocolates or have pancakes for dinner (Which it was literally sacrilegious not too yesterday) then it's not a big deal. If I can't afford as much veggies this week then that's OK.  I don't work out for a day because my legs are dying from the HIIT the day before? That's chill, my muscles totally deserve a break.

And now if I'm being honest? My workouts truly are the best part of my day. 

People always say that attitude is crucial when it comes to fitness or weight loss and I never realised how true that is until now. Having always felt so self-conscious and I guess scared of coming across as pretentious, I find being proud of myself and celebrating myself really hard.

But as I'm growing to love myself that is changing so tonight I am insanely excited and proud to announce the following.

Yesterday for the first time in my life I was able to properly do a Double Leg Lift.............

This is actually wayyyy harder than it looks (Image Credit: Blogilates)

Since the 1st of January 2016 I have.............
  • Lost 4kg of weight off my whole body 
  • 6cm off each of my Thighs and 5cm off my Stomach
  • A total body loss of 23cm!!!! 
I know to some people these numbers maybe seem like nothing but to me they are everything! They are motivation, inspiration and proof of what I'm capable of! They are proof that I can push through a plateau (I'm looking at you....week of January 20th) and that I'm not a total failure.

I'm pretty sure everyone says this but.....I really am grateful to all my close friends and family that are being so supportive. To an extent: Changing yourself and your life alters your relationships and perceptions of others. You begin to really see who are the positives and negatives in your life and become more appreciative of some whilst letting go of others and their negativity.

To those fantastic people who are embracing the new me and cheering me on on Facebook, giving me new fitness motivation over dinner or making plans to go workout together instead of eat together. THANK YOU! I am so appreciative to have you in my life and to have such a sincere cheer squad when I need it.

This particularly applies to Rachel, Dani, Carl, Kirsty, Craig, Aunty Fi and Olena- I normally don't mention people by name in here but you guys- Just cheer squad goals..... seriously! Oh yeah I should probably also thank Scott for putting up with my inconsistently-successful-healthy-cooking and the questionable "sex noises" made whilst doing Blogilates videos.

I'm all teared up now so in conclusion: Here's the little things and the happier, healthier me! *Raises glass of foot flavoured "Detox" Water*

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Becoming "That Girl"

Hey Guys!

So it's January 27th and I initially planned to write this post on January 30th but I'm having a housewarming party and will probably be wayy too tired to do it the next day so I've decided to do it tonight.

Anyway. A recent post I made was about my story and although I didn't really go into detail about the weight and body image aspect of my life, I hope you guys gathered the general gist of it.

In case you didn't, I grew up in a family with a very dominant obesity gene. I was pretty lucky though and despite suffering body image issues for other reasons, I maintained a size 12-16 through high school and then prior to May last year, a size 12.

So naturally, not only did I grow up with the importance of healthy eating being drilled into my head but also having a serious judgement for anyone who was "That Girl"

You know who "That Girl" is. Her postal address is the gym, Her Instagram is responsible for the invention of #cleaneating and the Activewear Song was written about her. She's the single most annoying person you know and I, for one, HATED her.

But here's the crazy thing. As I'm watching myself become "That Girl", I'm learning some pretty cool stuff about her. She's got a really positive outlook on life. Challenges that come her way aren't the end of the world, they're just challenges that she knows she can overcome. Her anxiety is so much better managed and in the hours after her workout- she's that bit happier.

A year ago food was an emotional crutch for me. Every week I'd scourer the supermarket catalogue to see if my favourite treats were on sale. I still do that, but now its accompanied by squeals of joy as I discover avocados are on sale.

If any of you read my post on January 1st about how this "isn't some new years resolution and I'll actually stick with it" and were secretly thinking "Yeah right Cara, this won't last the month"  then you weren't alone. That thought ran through my head every day of the first 2 weeks, and honestly it still creeps back in there sometimes. But here I am nearly 1 month later and I'm still going. I'm so proud of myself for coming this far. Of continuously trying to eat healthier and exercise even when it was the last thing I wanted to do.

In other exciting news: I'm starting TAFE again next week and to be honest I'm super nervous about repeating the course I failed last year. But as one of my mentors pointed out, I've got a serious advantage this time. I know what caused me to fail last time. I know what's coming and how to be fully prepared for it. This time, I believe in myself!

Being "That Girl" is exhausting, fun, intense, crazy, scary and the best decision I've ever made.

Sorry Instagram, but I'll never be joining this bandwagon

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Define "Australia Day"

Today is January 26th- Australia Day, which is supposed to be a day of doing what us Aussies do best- relaxing and being grateful for the great country we get to call home. Whether it's relishing in that sweet, sweet public holiday pay at work (Cheers Unions!) or pretending you actually know how to play backyard cricket, it's all about having fun and in general being Aussie.

When I was a kid, Australia Day usually involved some form of patriotic food (I'm talking serious lamington binge here people) or watching Dad justify a couple of VB's whilst sweltering round the tv watching sport of some kind. There was no mention of political correctness, torching vegans or "Invasion Day" it was just a day where we were grateful for the roof over our heads and the food to eat. To me, Australia Day is just the Australian equivalent of "Thanksgiving", minus the turkey's the size of small houses (Seriously Americans! How do you people eat those things!)

Last week consumers chucked a fit over Australia Day caps from Woolworths that had "accidentally" left Tasmania out of the Australian Flag, 3 days later some poor Coles employee, in Toowong,  was probably char-grilled over why they had put up flags that had the southern cross backwards. But most shockingly of all; Twitter went ballistic over the 2016 "Australia Day Lamb" ad that featured the torching of a vegan's home.

Seriously! Aside from the Bogan's who'd even notice a difference?

All of this is in addition to the fact that whenever I signed into Facebook today there was a whole new slew of posts about "Invasion Day" and "Honoring our Indigenous heritage". Nothing about salty beach cricket, praises to our amazing emergency services who worked to keep everyone safe today, or even a slightly racist joke!

How the bloody hell did we get to the point of such obsession with political correctness? Since when did we lose our ability to laugh at ourselves or shrug it off? Whatever happened to "No worries mate" or "She'll be right"?

Let's be real for a second here people..........

Our country was built on the backs of hard work, mateship and fun! Yeah we fucked up and technically stole the island off it's indigenous owners but we've grown from that. We apologised (Well Kevin did anyway) and have worked so hard to show you guys we're sorry! But why are we still beating ourselves up 200 years (and multiple generations) later and furthermore still dwelling on it? At what point do we forgive ourselves, grab a beer and get on with it?

We're the country that prides itself on commemorating it's greatest military failure every year (Anzac Day), Our best comedians make their annual incomes from insulting the current prime minister/s, Just about every animal can and will try to kill you and questionably racist insults pre-date our federation.

Our entire culture and international image focuses around traditions and attitudes that simply aren't true anymore! And when you boil it down the fact is this: I don't care if you're Indigenous, Bogan, Gay, Straight, Vegan, Coeliac, Catholic, Muslim, Overweight, Depressed or Tony Abbott, if you're able to laugh at yourself and hand me a pair of tongs if I need them- You're an Aussie!

Happy Australia Day!

C'mon we're even prone to "borrowing" national icons

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

The Lonely Hours

It's been 2 weeks almost since I started the 30 Day Waist-trainer Challenge and Day 2 of the POP Pilates for Beginners 4 week workout plan. So far I'm sticking to my schedule and as much as I've cried in pain over the insane amount of flexing involved and all but swam in my own sweat I'm in general feeling good.My anxiety is under better control as well which is a definite added bonus.

I read motivational quotes and repeat them to myself, I drink protein shakes and I talk myself out of ice cream cravings. Every day I get up and force myself to work out because I know that if I don't, I will be the same miserable girl I used to be and I never want to be that again.

But let's get real for a second here. Just because I'm personally going through this awesome process in my life doesn't mean everyone or everything else is. I'm still dealing with residual problems from last year and sometimes they feel even harder to overcome because I'm doing this too.

 Sure I might make jokes about how all the extra cleaning I'm doing is extra kj's being burnt but that doesn't mean I'm not still feeling the pain of the betrayal of my old housemates. I might smile when Scott makes a comment about the exercises in the workout I'm doing but that make me any less angry that he isn't on the floor with me. I try and be positive when my friend offers me advice from 300km away, but truth is I want to punch her in the face because, to me, I need this so much more than she does and I hate that she's excelling and I'm not.

The truth is that starting this journey I had no idea how lonely or unsupported I'd feel. That secretly I hate that the one person who's supposed to jump on this with me sits there and drinks soft drink in front of me and has the audacity to make comments about the workout that I'm busting my ass over.

 I hate the fact that I have no one cheering me on or even friend's who are willing to go out and eat $15 salads with me so I can feel supported. I hate that the only person doing this with me makes me feel like crap and guilty because they've somehow made this a competition. I hate that I don't have family hugging me and supporting me when I feel so alone.

The truth about losing weight is that it's 50% diet and exercise and the other 50 dealing with the deepest pain and insecurities that you never wanted to deal with. There's no cupcakes to fill that void or chocolate to hide it with.

I'm learning that it's one thing to force myself to do one more reverse crunch. But it's another to sit and cry about the loss of my family, or come to terms with all the bad things that have happened in my life. To accept that even though it was 8 years ago, I'm still living with the scars of my trauma. That all those cruel girls in school weren't my fault and that I deserve better than every guy who's hurt me or the father who left me at conception.

That it's ok to feel pain over all these things and to need to take 5 and just cry. That I don't need to be ashamed of my existence like I've been conditioned to believe. That I will be OK.

I'm sorry for the ramble, and I'm sure a lot of you were hoping for a more positive post. I'm sorry to anyone I've offended, wait no I'm not? Why would I apologise for being honest? Anyway thanks for listening internet. Stay Shiny!