Dear Merida,
It's been 2 month's since you walked away and for 2 months I've been trying to find the right words to say.
I got accepted into a Prep Program at university starting next year. Reese and I are moving in together come the new year too. All my dreams are coming true and you're not here.
Maybe it's the summer rain, maybe it's the big life choices. But either way I miss you. I miss late nights and bottles of wine on your dining room table with the dogs licking our feet.
I keep trying to fill the void. Thinking that if I love Reese enough or talk to Lesh enough that it will be filled. But the truth is that every night I cry for my best friend and that when Reese had his attack, all I wanted was you.
Remember that Grey's Anatomy quote that goes "Derek's the love of my life, but you're my soulmate"? Sometimes I think that's still true . Reese is everything to me. He's the reason I get up in the morning and why I can still giggle and smile. But he's not you. He doesn't get Carina jokes and he doesn't want to put on makeup and drink champagne till we fall off the table.
I'm mad at you because you walked away and because Reese put me in that position and because I fucked things up with you like everything else in my life. I don't deserve the things I have and God I'd give them all to have you back.
I still love you and wish it wasn't so hard to live without you sis
- Seven
