Time Indifferent

I'm different. I accept that. 

I am 21 and something. I have a job. I have friends and a boyfriend. I appear normal. But am I?

Sixteen

My eyelids stay shut
I won't let them move
They are all that's keeping me here
Keeping that wave upon the sand

I step out in dress and shoes
A vision of crimson
Pose Smile Flash
Frozen in time

Sunshine filters through
Everything invites me in
Clasp tight upon my breast
Verbose Gumption

Wind Ice Sunrise
Running along the dune
Directors Cut

He traces
Love on my belly
Safety a vague identity

The ocean rushes
Wave reclaimed
Dreams shattered
Eye's awake

Seventeen

When you're failing english
I am there, study notes in hand

When you're fighting with your boyfriend
I am there, listening

When youre abandoned by your friends
I am there, sitting by your side

Yet when I'm failing science
You couldnt care less

When I'm crying over a friend
So sit there and say nothing

When you abandon me
Well thats that 

Eighteen 


Would they even notice?
If I went insane?

Would they even care?
If I went insane?


Would they even talk to me?
If I went insane?

What if suddenly?
I just stopped talking?
or stopping running around?

Would they even help?

Would they even notice?
If I went insane?

No! They'd be too embarrassed! 
Too horrified and ashamed!


Twenty-One 

Are things really different to then?
No?
Yes? 
Even I can't answer that.......